Come and See
Recently I moved from the rapidly-growing town of Binbrook,
to live with a friend in the city! Packing my stuff (you never realize how much
stuff you have until you move!) jogged my memory and it made me go back in the
past. Some wonderful memories were brought back and some not so great memories
were also brought back. For whatever reason, God brought back grade 6 in
particular. Grade 6 was a dark time in my life. I was being teased at school
and every day I would cry and beg not to have to go to school. My parents went
through a lot that year as well. Towards the end of that year I started
entertaining thoughts of taking a whole bottle of pills so that all the pain
would be over. I even tried to run away one night. It is a season of my life that is still hard
to think and talk about.
The next year my parents decided to homeschool us and
sometimes I wonder where I would be if I wasn’t ever homeschooled. I think I
would definitely be a very different person and sometimes I even wonder if I
would still be here. God used those homeschooling years in profound ways to
heal and restore me. One of the most common stereotypes of homeschoolers is
that they don’t any socializing opportunities. The opposite happened for us.
The homeschool group we became involved with provided many, many social outings
and we were able to develop some amazing friendships. Some of my closest
friends I have today are from the homeschool group.
I look at my life today. No, I don’t have everything I want
but yet there is still so much I’m deeply thankful for. I’m so glad God didn’t
end my life when I wanted it to in grade 6. I’m so glad God provides the
strength needed to keep going when all we feel like doing is giving up. The
past is a dangerous place to live in but I think we need to visit it once in a
while. Psalm 66 tells us to “come and see what God has done, his awesome deeds for
mankind!” Thinking about that
painful school year reminded me of all that God has brought be me through. God has done many amazing things and sometimes
the only way to see those things are to remember the past.
In Psalm 9 David says that he will give thanks to the Lord
with his whole heart and will recount all of God’s wonderful deeds. Why? I think it is because life is hard and in the
midst of trouble, it is hard to see God’s present goodness. It is when we
recount all the ways God has already worked powerfully in our lives we are
reminded of His power to bring beauty out of ashes. We remember all the times
we thought God wasn’t working at all, but now we can look back and clearly see
how He was at work all along.
This coming thanksgiving I want to give thanks to the Lord
with my whole heart. These are some of
the things I’m thankful for:
I’m thankful for family and friends who I can live life
with. I’m thankful for the people who constantly encourage and spur me on. I’m thankful
for a church that teaches the Bible and has provided a place to grow and to
serve. I’m thankful for a bed that is warm and comfortable. I’m thankful for
coffee on those mornings that are hard to wake up. I’m thankful for a car that
gets me place to place and that doesn’t break down too often. I’m thankful for
the beauty of each changing season. I’m thankful that there will always be new
songs to write and sing. I’m thankful for the ability to work. I’m thankful for
my crazy cat that provides lots of laughs. I’m thankful for the way a baby can
bring so much joy. I’m thankful for the
Spirit of God that convicts me of my sin so I can know and experience Him. I’m
thankful for the feeling of clean laundry.
I’m thankful for the kind of laughter that hurts my stomach. I’m thankful for all the different flavors of
food. I’m thankful for cherished memories. I’m thankful that the Lord’s mercy
is new every morning so that I can enjoy all these good gifts.

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