Unexpected Gifts

Hello friends!  
It's been a while since my last blog so its time to get back to it.  November was a crazy busy month and one of the things that kept me busy was doing my final assignment for school.  I thought I would share it with you all.  It is a little longer than my other blogs but I hope it encourages you just as God has encouraged me in the process of writing it.
Merry Christmas everyone!!

     The most beautiful things often grow and stem from times of hurt and struggle. It is a paradox that proves to be true time and time again in my life and in the life of one of my favorite people in the world.

     My Uncle Sim is one of those people who, once you meet him, you won't soon forget. At our family gatherings he is the life of the party and his summertime visits are always so memorable. Although he has Down Syndrome and is unable to speak, he enjoys life and lives with a determination that is contagious. I will always remember the look on his face when he thought he would wake up the sleeping lion at the zoo by roaring at him and the way he jumped when the lion roared back at him. I still smile at the determination that it must of took to try to convince the cable man, who was working at the side of the road, to go on top of our roof to adjust the antenna just so he could get better reception on the TV. Uncle Sim often can be seen with a smile on his face and a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

     Uncle Sim has lived with my Grandma for all of his life, and they have a special kind of relationship. Throughout the years Grandma has been his main care-taker and has always been there for him. I'm sure some would consider my uncle to be an extra burden on her life, and it was a different set of challenges to raise him; but, I will always remember the day that Grandma told me of what a blessing Sim is to her. My grandma is a 93 year old who loves her independence, her ability to get outdoors in her garden and really enjoys doing small projects around her house. For the last few years she wouldn't be able to stay in her own home if Sim wasn't living with her and Sim couldn't live at home without her either. In this season of life it's been remarkable to see how they both need each other equally and balance each other out in their limitations. They are truly a team: they both have specific tasks they do, they know exactly what each other wants at mealtimes. She makes sure that he bathes and cares for himself regularly, and he helps her by doing all the heavy work around the house and even by pulling up her blankets each night. When my Grandma thought that Sim was eating too much honey, she hid the jar on him. Days later when she wanted some honey herself, she had forgot where she had hid the jar. In a short time, Sim came back from the garage with the jar of honey in his hands.

     Uncle Sim continues to be a great gift to me. It has often felt like Uncle Sim and I have been able to connect and relate on a different kind of level because I was born with some disabilities as well. Although everything seemed to be normal when I was born, the doctors soon started to realize that I wasn't progressing as I should. I couldn't suck or swallow, track objects with my eyes, and lacked reflexes. This led to the conclusion that I was going to be deaf, blind and have severe learning disabilities. Over the years God chose to bless me with the ability to see, hear, eat, and learn. I was in grade one when I started to be able to say a few words. From an early age I’ve spent many hours in speech therapy and my speech has improved in major ways. I still find certain fine-motor and coordination skills difficult which make things like sports next to impossible and other things are just slower for me. I fully know and will gladly admit that I have so much to be thankful for, yet the small things can add up and sometimes it feels like my disabilities affect so many areas of my life.

     For a long time, my disabilities were an obstacle to work around and I go through many seasons when I struggle with being bitter and frustrated with God. My disabilities have brought me back to Jesus like nothing else in my life. Matt Chandler asked a question that has deeply resonated with me. It was “what if the greatest mercy of Christ is to make life difficult and in that difficulty he gives me more of Himself?” It has been a very unsettling question to consider. What if the things I chase, such as having a ‘normal’ and comfortable life, are not the things that will bring me the most joy and fulfillment in the long run? If it is really true that God’s love is better than life itself, then any difficulty I experience would be worth going through if it brings me closer to God for in the times of ease it is too easy to forget my deep need of God. His love is most closely felt in the times of absolute brokenness. I love the way Zephaniah says it: “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” He has been mighty to save, not just in salvation, but in helping me to see I have my disabilities for a reason and I don’t have to live my life pitying myself. When I am plagued with fears of being a burden to my family, of being annoying to have to listen to, and of not accomplishing anything in my life; He does quiet me with His love by inviting me to find rest and truth in Him.

     It is hard to see something that causes pain, struggle and difficulty, as a gift. Without the grace of God, I think it is impossible to but through the life of my Uncle Sim and in my own life, the reality of unexpected gifts in unexpected places is ringing true. Even though I often don’t understand God’s will, I am continually reminded that God is the giver of every good and perfect gift as this life unfolds.